One of my favorite comedic actors ever and taken from us too soon. Chris Farley, despite his short career, left a trail of roles and appearances that were just *chef's kiss*:
Wayne's World - Security Guard
Growing up in Sandusky, Ohio, as the son of a local hero and automobile parts manufacturer would be a tall task for any kid. But for Tommy Callahan, it was too much to bear in his early years. After high school and before his seven-year stint at Marquette University [2], Tommy moved to Milwaukee ("The Good Land"), eventually becoming a security guard for hire.
Shortly after taking this position, he served as the back entrance security guard during an Alice Cooper concert and was shortly thereafter relieved of his duties after providing entirely too much information about a VIP to concert-goers.
Wayne's World 2 - Milton
Not yet ready to return home, he traveled to Aurora, Illinois in order to confront the people that had cost him his job (although it was entirely his fault). But after confronting Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, he realized that they were nice guys and might be able to help him find some employment. He chose to go by Milton during his stint in Aurora to avoid those who knew his father (Callahan was a big name in the Midwest).
Just prior to his relocation to Aurora, Wayne and Garth began preparations for WayneStock, a local music festival, that would feature Aerosmith, the Gin Blossoms, and Nash Kato [3]. Milton would serve as a roadie during the festival; although his effectiveness was immediately called into question during training.
Shortly after WayneStock, Milton received a call from his father back in Sandusky. His father pleaded with him to return home or go back to school.
Tommy Boy - Tommy Callahan
As previously mentioned, Tommy returned home briefly and then proceeded to attend Marquette University for seven years until eventually graduating. Upon returning home, Tommy's father married what turned out to be a con artist who's goal was to sell the company. Tommy and Richard Hayden would work tirelessly over the next several weeks to Callahan Auto. It appeared victory was snatched from the jaws of defeat after convincing Ray Zalinksy to order 500,000 brake pads, thereby allowing the company to stave off foreclosure from the bank. At this point, Richard moved away and Tommy was left to oversee the company's aggressive growth strategy that Big Tom Callahan had put together just prior to his death.
But without Big Tom or Richard to help lead the company, the economic factors weighing against Callahan Auto were too much to overcome. Eventually, Tommy was forced to sell the company to Zalinsky who commenced lay offs as soon as the deal was closed. Tommy, unable to show his face in Sandusky, sought out his long-lost brother.
Black Sheep - Mike Donnelly
Unbeknownst to Tommy, prior to being born, Big Tom and his wife gave birth to a son, Allen (Al for short). But they felt unable to provide the care and support he needed at that time and gave him up for adoption. Eventually, Al was adopted and taken to live in Washington where, as a young adult, he became involved in local politics. Just as his political career was getting underway, Tommy showed up. Al, raised to be a caring and loving soul, embraced his brother and "adopted" him into the Donnelly family. Tommy opted to go by his middle name, Michael, and began living in Washington as Mike Donnelly.
All Mike wanted to do was help his brother. After all, his father and mother were dead, his step mother and step brother were criminals, and his girlfriend, Michelle, dumped him after getting laid off by Zalinskey. But Mike always managed to screw things up. So, Roger Kovary, then Al's campaign manager for the governorship, asked Steve Dodds to "babysit" Mike until the election was over.
Dodds, who you may recognize as Richard Hayden from Mike's Sandusky days, wouldn't recognize anyone at that point. Richard relocated to Washington and joined Al's staff but not before being diagnosed with prosopagnosia, otherwise known as "facial blindness". Additionally, after seeing Callahan Auto fail and not wanting to draw attention to his role in a company that fell into bankruptcy and destroyed a town, Richard changed his name to Steve Dodds. Mike, not willing to confront the shame and failures at Callahan Auto, was more than willing to forget that he and Steve knew eachother in a past life.
Al goes on to win the governorship, due in large part to the assistance of his brother Mike and Steve who discovered a voter fraud scheme by his opponent. After displaying some keen detective work, Mike decided he may enjoy becoming a police officer.
Airheads - Wilson
Mike moved to Los Angeles after failing to qualify for the police academy in Washington (even the governor can't fix those tests scores). LA, still reeling from the riots of 1992, was in the midst of a hiring spree and was more than happy to accept Mike. It should be noted that Mike legally changed his last name to Wilson so as not to embarrass his brother Al, who may have had future political aspirations [4].
As a low level officer, Mike effectively acted as the personal aide to Sargent O'Malley [5] during the Lone Rangers takeover of the KPPX radio station (otherwise known as Rebel Radio). After sustaining injuries during the operation, Mike retired on disability.
Dirty Work - Jimmy
Once again ashamed and unable to return home as a result, Mike sank into alcoholism. As the years passed, Mike's life kept getting worse and worse eventually hitting rock bottom after a "saigon whore" bit off his nose. The hiring of prostitutes is illegal and, in an attempt to avoid prosecution, Mike began going by Jimmy in order to avoid trouble.
Noseless Jimmy goes on to help his friends fight off the evil Travis Cole [6]. Jimmy's work with Mitch and Sam enlightened him to the cause of helping others.
Billy Madison - Bus Driver
Not long after his epiphany, Jimmy took a job as a bus driver; he wanted to continue helping people and this was the only avenue available given his past.
Jimmy continued to drive the bus, even after Billy Madison took over the Madison Hotel chain, and still does to this day.
Best Quote Nominations
"I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butchers word for it."
- Tommy Callahan...there is no better closing argument on a sale.
"That's one small step for man! One giant...I have a dream!"
- Mike Donnelly...best line of his political speech, a close second was "Kill Whitey!"
"No yelling on the bus!"
- Bus Driver...strict but psychotic.
Stray Notes & Observations
[1] I regret being unable to include Beverly Hills Ninja, Farley's third to last credit. I just couldn't find a way to fit it in.
[2] Arguably its most famous alumni (you don't make people laugh Dwyane Wade!).
[3] And Rip Taylor...I still don't know who he is or what he does.
[4] While not part of the eventual Tim Matheson Thread, he did become Vice President in the Bartlett administration.
[5] Check back later for the eventual Ernie Hudson Thread.
[6] Travis was featured prominently in the Christopher McDonald thread.
Wayne's World - Security Guard
Growing up in Sandusky, Ohio, as the son of a local hero and automobile parts manufacturer would be a tall task for any kid. But for Tommy Callahan, it was too much to bear in his early years. After high school and before his seven-year stint at Marquette University [2], Tommy moved to Milwaukee ("The Good Land"), eventually becoming a security guard for hire.
Shortly after taking this position, he served as the back entrance security guard during an Alice Cooper concert and was shortly thereafter relieved of his duties after providing entirely too much information about a VIP to concert-goers.
Wayne's World 2 - Milton
Not yet ready to return home, he traveled to Aurora, Illinois in order to confront the people that had cost him his job (although it was entirely his fault). But after confronting Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, he realized that they were nice guys and might be able to help him find some employment. He chose to go by Milton during his stint in Aurora to avoid those who knew his father (Callahan was a big name in the Midwest).
Just prior to his relocation to Aurora, Wayne and Garth began preparations for WayneStock, a local music festival, that would feature Aerosmith, the Gin Blossoms, and Nash Kato [3]. Milton would serve as a roadie during the festival; although his effectiveness was immediately called into question during training.
Shortly after WayneStock, Milton received a call from his father back in Sandusky. His father pleaded with him to return home or go back to school.
Tommy Boy - Tommy Callahan
As previously mentioned, Tommy returned home briefly and then proceeded to attend Marquette University for seven years until eventually graduating. Upon returning home, Tommy's father married what turned out to be a con artist who's goal was to sell the company. Tommy and Richard Hayden would work tirelessly over the next several weeks to Callahan Auto. It appeared victory was snatched from the jaws of defeat after convincing Ray Zalinksy to order 500,000 brake pads, thereby allowing the company to stave off foreclosure from the bank. At this point, Richard moved away and Tommy was left to oversee the company's aggressive growth strategy that Big Tom Callahan had put together just prior to his death.
 |
| Hard to believe this guy couldn't keep the company in business. |
But without Big Tom or Richard to help lead the company, the economic factors weighing against Callahan Auto were too much to overcome. Eventually, Tommy was forced to sell the company to Zalinsky who commenced lay offs as soon as the deal was closed. Tommy, unable to show his face in Sandusky, sought out his long-lost brother.
Black Sheep - Mike Donnelly
Unbeknownst to Tommy, prior to being born, Big Tom and his wife gave birth to a son, Allen (Al for short). But they felt unable to provide the care and support he needed at that time and gave him up for adoption. Eventually, Al was adopted and taken to live in Washington where, as a young adult, he became involved in local politics. Just as his political career was getting underway, Tommy showed up. Al, raised to be a caring and loving soul, embraced his brother and "adopted" him into the Donnelly family. Tommy opted to go by his middle name, Michael, and began living in Washington as Mike Donnelly.
All Mike wanted to do was help his brother. After all, his father and mother were dead, his step mother and step brother were criminals, and his girlfriend, Michelle, dumped him after getting laid off by Zalinskey. But Mike always managed to screw things up. So, Roger Kovary, then Al's campaign manager for the governorship, asked Steve Dodds to "babysit" Mike until the election was over.
 |
| To borrow Richard Hayden's phrase: yikes. |
Dodds, who you may recognize as Richard Hayden from Mike's Sandusky days, wouldn't recognize anyone at that point. Richard relocated to Washington and joined Al's staff but not before being diagnosed with prosopagnosia, otherwise known as "facial blindness". Additionally, after seeing Callahan Auto fail and not wanting to draw attention to his role in a company that fell into bankruptcy and destroyed a town, Richard changed his name to Steve Dodds. Mike, not willing to confront the shame and failures at Callahan Auto, was more than willing to forget that he and Steve knew eachother in a past life.
Al goes on to win the governorship, due in large part to the assistance of his brother Mike and Steve who discovered a voter fraud scheme by his opponent. After displaying some keen detective work, Mike decided he may enjoy becoming a police officer.
Airheads - Wilson
Mike moved to Los Angeles after failing to qualify for the police academy in Washington (even the governor can't fix those tests scores). LA, still reeling from the riots of 1992, was in the midst of a hiring spree and was more than happy to accept Mike. It should be noted that Mike legally changed his last name to Wilson so as not to embarrass his brother Al, who may have had future political aspirations [4].
As a low level officer, Mike effectively acted as the personal aide to Sargent O'Malley [5] during the Lone Rangers takeover of the KPPX radio station (otherwise known as Rebel Radio). After sustaining injuries during the operation, Mike retired on disability.
Dirty Work - Jimmy
Once again ashamed and unable to return home as a result, Mike sank into alcoholism. As the years passed, Mike's life kept getting worse and worse eventually hitting rock bottom after a "saigon whore" bit off his nose. The hiring of prostitutes is illegal and, in an attempt to avoid prosecution, Mike began going by Jimmy in order to avoid trouble.
 |
| Definitely rock bottom. |
Noseless Jimmy goes on to help his friends fight off the evil Travis Cole [6]. Jimmy's work with Mitch and Sam enlightened him to the cause of helping others.
Billy Madison - Bus Driver
Not long after his epiphany, Jimmy took a job as a bus driver; he wanted to continue helping people and this was the only avenue available given his past.
Jimmy continued to drive the bus, even after Billy Madison took over the Madison Hotel chain, and still does to this day.
 |
| That's not to say the dude didn't have problems. |
Best Quote Nominations
"I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butchers word for it."
- Tommy Callahan...there is no better closing argument on a sale.
"That's one small step for man! One giant...I have a dream!"
- Mike Donnelly...best line of his political speech, a close second was "Kill Whitey!"
"No yelling on the bus!"
- Bus Driver...strict but psychotic.
Stray Notes & Observations
[1] I regret being unable to include Beverly Hills Ninja, Farley's third to last credit. I just couldn't find a way to fit it in.
[2] Arguably its most famous alumni (you don't make people laugh Dwyane Wade!).
[3] And Rip Taylor...I still don't know who he is or what he does.
[4] While not part of the eventual Tim Matheson Thread, he did become Vice President in the Bartlett administration.
[5] Check back later for the eventual Ernie Hudson Thread.
[6] Travis was featured prominently in the Christopher McDonald thread.
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